You'll be fine...in
just a short period of time you won't miss me, or need me at all. You won't
totally regret dealing with things the way you did or wish you could go back
and handle them differently after realizing all that you lost. Not at all. Because you're absolutely sure that there is someone out there so much better for you, and that you will meet someone who has so much more to offer than I do, a much more complete, well rounded guy, who's intentions you will know of and trust immediately, and who you will feel safer with, a lot quicker than you did with me. Someone you are super comfortable with, and can be yourself with...the you that no one else knows or gets to see.
Yeah, you'll meet someone who is a better teacher, a better partner, a better friend than I was, all in one, and who is more responsible, and a deeper thinker than me, and more sentimental than I am. I'm sure you will meet a guy who does more of the little things then I did, and is way more thoughtful than I was...whose eyes are more honest than mine are, whose touch is more sincere than mine is, whose raw emotions are more genuine, and easier to see. You will surely meet someone who is a much better listener than I am, who pays more attention to every delicate detail of your beautiful being, and who admires and appreciates the little quarks that make you who you are as much as I did...someone way more in tune to your mood, and who notices when something is on your mind or when you’re not being yourself because something is bothering you, and who wants to know how you feel so badly that he will beg you to talk to him about your emotions and tell him all about how you're feeling so he can help, or at least be as supportive as you will let him be.
I mean, most guys are like that.
He'll know how to put your needs first and be more than willing to sacrifice his time, energy, and effort for your well being, in an attempt to help you see things more clearly, and in a positive light, so that you feel better and have a chance to be happier each day. You'll meet someone who is more comfortable doing nothing with you than I was, and who cares about your future way more than me. Way more, I'm sure.
I'm sure you'll meet someone who cares about family unity and values more than I do, and you'll meet someone who looks forward to, and is better equipped to love, cherish, and care for his children than I am, and he'll definitely be a better father than me, for sure.
There are plenty of men out there for you to meet that are more self aware, open minded, capable and willing to change and comprise for the betterment of the relationship than I am, and who are more accepting of your friend's and make more of an effort to be a part of their life as well.
You definitely will find someone filled with more excitement and anticipation than I had every time I got home, just from the thought of turning the corner and possibly seeing you standing at my front door, or from surprising me by being home when I walked in. For sure that feeling will be more consistently prevalent and stronger in someone else than it was in me throughout the course of your relationship, and never fade. You won’t ever have to worry about another guy taking all the nice thoughtful things you do to help out for granted, like cook, clean, or come running whenever you're called. Nah, he'll appreciate those things along with all the nicknames and handshakes more than I did long after your honey moon phase is over.
It will be easy to move on and get over me, because I was ONLY a burden, a problem, a hassle, a headache, a negative source in your life who's feelings weren't real at all, who never attempted to express or show how I felt, and actually never really felt any love at all and didn't really care about you in any way to begin with.
I'm sure you're secure with all your decisions and confident about your feelings, and you know deep down in your heart that there is no place for me in your life what so ever, and that you’re absolutely positive that it will be better without me in it.
I made this account just to tell you this because it gets to me when good people are hurt in some way and they don't deserve it but they're just too oblivious to it all. Hopefully you read this soon. Btw you should write more often. You seem to have a lot on your mind and this is probably a good place to let it out. This part is more of the P.S. part sorta thing. But here goes nothing.
ReplyDeleteSomeday you'll find a woman, not a girl, suited for all your needs and wants. I haven't known you too long and hopefully I'm not misjudging but you are indeed a well rounded, put together human being. Of course, you have faults, which I am not cognizant of, but I'm sure they are not anything so inconceivable that you've deemed to degrade yourself. Practice what you preach, sir. The past won't define your present nor future. You're going down a road, a path that you yourself have created. You're in control, you've got your mirrors right, full tank of gas, a hold of the steering wheel. You can look back and mope on what you could've done, you can sit and debate whether you have enough gas, or you can just go. You're doing great. You're an exceptional individual. Its okay if you've gone off the road sometimes, encountered situations or people you wish you didn't, but you've learned. And if you haven't, think about it so you can let it go and move on down the road. You cannot get down on yourself just because someone did not bring out your full capacity. People fuck up. Its human. You are you and only you can control yourself and your outcomes. I don't think there's such thing as better, but more along the lines of right. Someone "better" won't come along, but someone right will. Maybe things just weren't right. But its okay. Only time will tell, and I feel as though there are great things coming for you because honestly that's all you deserve, nothing less, hopefully more. Patience. Soon.